By Eric Morken
The three most difficult words to say in a relationship and the end of all arguments.
Let’s be honest, most arguments in every relationship are over things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. “I’m right and you’re wrong and neither of us is going to give in” is generally what it comes down to.
We all realize this, but it’s inevitable that those spats are going to happen. Men and women are simply wired too differently to not drive each other crazy sometimes.
There are usually three stages of an argument. First comes the disagreement that causes anger. Then comes the argument, followed by the realization that what we are arguing about probably isn’t worth fighting over in the first place.
Stage one comes with plenty of body language. How easy is it to tell when your significant other is upset with you? It’s simple, right? It’s usually not what they say; it’s how they say it. One word answers to questions without any direct eye contact. You let that slide for about half an hour before it becomes too much.
This leads us directly into stage two: The actual argument. These typically stem from two different trains of thought. The guy knows why the woman is upset and keeps asking himself, “How can she possibly be so mad about this?” To which the woman thinks, “How can he not know why I’m upset about this?”
From here, it’s all about who will give in first and say those three fateful words. This usually takes a cooling off period, which also has a set of three stages.
Stage one: Was I in the wrong? Of course not. Women can be crazy.
Stage two: Well, maybe I am partially to blame for this. I guess it’s possible that I overreacted.
Stage three: Time to swallow my pride.
The resolution to stage three is the final battle. Who will end this first? Finally, someone gives in and says it – I’m sorry.
At our wedding, my father-in-law gave a great speech at the reception and ended it with some simple words of advice for us in marriage. Remember the things that matter and forget the things that don’t.
I think about that a lot as I’m winding down and getting ready to say the words that I know will end an argument.
The challenge is remembering those words in stage one and avoiding all the trouble in the first place.
Eric Morken is a husband, father, sports reporter and outdoor enthusiast.