He sez…she sez
By Brandon and Amy Chaffins
Amy: I love the stuffing out of him, but my big, strong, macho husband can be the whiniest, tantrum-throwing man-child in the Midwest. Heaven forbid the man should try something new, different or outside his comfort zone. So, here’s the big scary thing I asked him to do: Let’s try a 21-day meditation challenge.
Brandon: So here’s the deal: I was sitting in a comfortable leather chair in our living room one fine evening. I was watching Gunsmoke and I was suddenly hornswoggled by Miss Amy with this meditation challenge thingy.
Amy: [Insert huge eye-roll here]
Brandon: I just blurted it out: “Why do you always make me do stuff?!” It was like one of U.S. Marshall Matt Dillon’s pinpoint bullets taking out the bad guy at high noon on the main street of Dodge City, Kansas. Well, my wife appeared agitated. Oops! Now I have to do the dang meditation challenge thingy! Great, 21 days of pure torture! Sometimes I say my thoughts out loud when I’m around Amy and yes, sometimes it gets me in trouble – or it at least costs me a new purse or dress. My wife’s “you messed up so I get to buy stuff system” is a whole other topic. Of all the husbands on planet earth, I’m sure I didn’t coin the phrase, “Why do you always make me do stuff?” but it sure seemed to fit at the time I blurted it out.
Amy: His response was like I had asked him to go shopping for frilly pillow shams. I gave him the “Really?” wife look. I proceeded to tell him, “You know, I don’t ask you to do a whole lot. This is something that’s important to me. You can at least try it.” That’s right; I piled on the guilt like a big scoop of Nutella. There was a bit of grumbling under his breath, which must have been him uttering how much he loves me. But he tried it! He followed through, but he had attitude. It was not a great approach to the meditation challenge, babe.
Brandon: Not once did I stay awake for the entire meditation session. The very first time I tried it, even with my typical I-just-ate-a-lemon face and protest, I got into it (fell asleep) pretty quickly. I know this will most likely cost me HUGE, but I reluctantly have to admit I participated during the entire project… and… I… liked it. It was a good experience.
Amy: See… try it, you might like it.
Brandon: When I think about it, I do make Amy “do stuff” too. Like the time I needed a water person to help mix bags of cement. She was there like a trooper “doing stuff.” Or when I end our date nights with a trip to a hardware store – there she is, “doing stuff” I know she’s not crazy about. She diverts to another part of the store quickly though. I guess toggle bolts and finish nails aren’t her thing. I still think the stuff I get to do is much more painful.
Amy: Up next: Let’s try Oprah’s six-week “Explore Your Vulnerability” class.
Brandon: Ah, crap!
Brandon and Amy Chaffins of Alexandria have been married 10 years – long enough to have learned to live with each other’s “quirks.”