Brandon: I thought I would address an issue that I don’t think is an issue at all. It’s what I like to call “Parking Lot Adventures.” It involves the interaction between me and Amy when I’m in the process of parking our truck at any parking lot.
Amy: Oh, it’s indeed an adventure and definitely a painstaking process. My husband gives parking waaaaaay too much thought. JUST PICK A SPOT AND PARK!
Brandon: There happens to be a method to my madness. As I approach a parking lot, I am scanning for the best parking spot. I admit most of the spots I park in have already been chosen from my past visits to each store. I am looking for the spot that serves several purposes:
It has to be far enough away from the masses to avoid door dings. The location is typically the same over and over so I don’t walk around the lot like a lost person occasionally beeping the horn with the keyless entry until honing in on target. My spot is based on ease of loading.
Finally, my decision is based on distance to the cart return. The shorter the better. Oh boy, the cart returns. This causes me to factor in if there are those huge heavy hauler carts around. These are the types that haul sheetrock, 2x4s and similar large items. I never park next to a cart return that is overflowing with these types of carts. Too much risk of them slamming into my truck. At this point, Amy is totally rolling her eyes and making those cute little tisking noises.
Amy: I cannot believe he just typed that out to try and justify his weird parking lot fixation; my apologies to readers.
Brandon: A new and unfamiliar parking lot presents a whole new dilemma; the time needed to apply my criteria for choosing the best spot typically elicits a comment from my ultra-patient sweetheart like, “Would you just park the truck!! You are so weird.” As you can probably tell, I am a creature of habit and I tell her the same thing every time: “Honey, there’s a method to my madness.”
Amy: I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent riding around in circles in store parking lots, rolling my eyes and wondering, ‘Who is this man I married?’ He sure is a quirky dude, but he’s so stinkin’ adorable he can totally pull it off. Dang those blue eyes.
Brandon: Sometimes, I go against all that is comfortable and park in a random spot. I do this to throw the curveball, and of course Amy says, “Are you feeling OK?” To which I reply, “Gonna live dangerous today.”
Amy: It’s true – not only am I tortured by the round-robin parking lot tours, he shakes things up once in a while and will park somewhere – brace yourself – near the front door of the store. It’s epic moments like this that save our marriage sometimes.
Brandon: Guess what happens when it’s time to leave….. Beep… Beep… Beep. Ah, there’s the truck. I rest my case. Keep the faith, guys!