He Sez She Sez

He sez, she sez: His Kryptonite – the vet’s office

He sez, she sez: His Kryptonite – the vet’s office

By Amy and Brandon Chaffins

Amy: We don’t have children, but we have a large dog who thinks he’s a baby – his name is Cash. He’s a 114-pound Labrador retriever and he’s afraid of his own shadow. The dog is a big baby, but my husband is an even bigger baby when it comes to taking the dog to the vet… he just can’t do it.

Brandon: OK, so first of all, I got my dog with every intention of him being a high-speed hunting machine. He most definitely is. On his off time, Cash is a house dog and my wife’s companion. The craziest thing, he’s not gun shy, but there are things/sounds that totally noid him out. I imagine the vet to be the same place as and as enjoyable to Cash as the doctor’s office can be for me. Uff da! Not my favorite place to be.

Amy: My husband is a big, macho, muscular dude who could definitely wrestle a gorilla into a headlock, and the fact that he vapor locks at the idea of seeing the dog in pain was endearing at first. I used to think, “Oh, he’s so sweet and so sensitive.” Fast-forward 10 years of marriage, it’s not so adorable anymore. Now, during each vet visit, it’s an All-Star Wrestling match between 140-pound Amy and a 114-pound dog who does NOT want to be there.

Brandon: Hmmmm…. Wrestle a gorilla? Oops, focus… I got nothin’ here, guys. What can I say? I can’t stand to see or hear my hound dog in pain. It just kills me.
So I’m a wuss, I’m comfortable
with that. At least my wife’s
got the guts to come through.

Amy: What is it with big, tough guys going all mooshy-gooshy when it comes to taking their child to the doctor or their pet to the vet? I certainly don’t enjoy it, but I know that being there during my fur-baby’s shot is comforting for him. Cashy can focus on me when the vet is examining him. I like to think my “good boy” comments and petting his nose are soothing for my dog when he’s being poked and prodded. Moms make everything better, right?

Brandon: (Finally, I get the chance to “insert eye roll here” in this column. Woo Hoo!)

Amy: When I got Cash neutered, my husband down-shifted into over-the-top, nearly-passing-out, couldn’t-even-look-me-in-the-eyes-for-days, high-drama hysteria. Brandon wouldn’t even ride along and sit outside the vet’s office when I picked up Cash after his surgery.

Brandon: Do I even have to explain my behavior? I don’t think so. You should have seen Cash when he came home from that tragic surgery. He looked pretty tough. I felt so bad for the poor guy.

Amy: After that trip to the vet, I found Brandon and Cash on the couch watching football together, recuperating and sulking.

Brandon: Since it wasn’t quite hunting season and Cash was pretty slow moving, watching football was the only guy thing I could think of to try and salvage my poor buddy’s pride. I lobbied pretty aggressively against the whole neuter thing.

Amy: Usually, Brandon is the super hero in our marriage – my man of steel would do anything for me and he makes ever thing better. His kryptonite is trips to the vet. I guess it’s just one of those situations where he truly needs me to step up and be the brave one in the relationship.

Brandon: Until next time,
keep the faith, fellas!

Brandon and Amy Chaffins of Alexandria have been married 11 years – long enough to have learned to live with each other’s “quirks.”

He Sez She Sez

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