He gets a pedicure
By Brandon and Amy Chaffins
Brandon: For about the past three years, Amy has been trying to get me get to a pedicure. She always adds that I will probably like it and continue to get them. Yup, you guessed it, I recently had a pedicure. Let me “paint” you a picture – ha, ha, ha, ha.
Amy: He did it and he survived. In fact, he’s just as manly now as he was before the pedicure. Trust me, he wasn’t so sure he would be.
Brandon: Amy and I recently visited my grandparents at Fort Meyers Beach, Florida. I thought it would be a normal vacation since I’m definitely a creature of habit and I don’t like to be out of my comfort zone. Little did I know what would happen!
Amy: Ladies, if you ever want to witness your fella launch into high drama mode, bring him in to get a pedicure. Good grief.
Brandon: So here’s what happened: During happy hour with my grandparents, the conversation turned to my grandma’s plans for a nail appointment the next day. Before I knew it, my lovely bride mentioned the pedicure situation and my grandpa said that he had done it before. Next thing I know, I am telling my grandpa that if he did it, I would. HUGE mistake – it was probably the beer talking. I totally should have known better.
Amy: It was an epic moment. I never thought he’d go through with it. But he did. He climbed up in the chair next to his grandparents and he got a pedicure – it was pretty adorable, actually.
Brandon: For those of you that have never experienced the pedicure, let me explain mine. You sit in this ginormous chair that has a little bath tub for your feet. The chair has heat and massage. OK, that part’s pretty cool. They tell you to dunk your feet after throwing some sort of tablet into the water and activating this jet propulsion doohickey in the tub. Dang! HOT water! After my feet got used to the water, it was pretty relaxing.
Amy: Imagine a giant grizzly bear propped in a high chair getting his toes done by a little lady one-quarter his size.
Brandon: Just as I’m getting settled and forgetting, for a moment, about the potential for damaging my manly and macho reputation, Amy takes a photo. Great, now there’s proof and I can no longer deny this ever happened.
Amy: Oh, but it did happen and I could not believe I was having a pedicure done the same time my husband was.
Brandon: Next, the pedicure technician lady comes over, sits down on a little wheeled cart by my feet and asks for one of my feet. She clips my toenails, used some sort of square object to file the tops of my nails and a flat filing thingy. Then, she used several metal hooks to push on the edges of my toenails, some sort of scary cutting device comes out and she traces the edges of my nails. Never a smidge of pain though. My foot went back in the jet propulsion tub and then the process repeats for my other foot. Then, she globs this stuff all over my foot and spreads it all over.
She looked at and felt the bottom of my foot, turned to the pedicure technician next to her and she hauled out this HUGE cheese grater! What the heck!? She proceeded to use it on the bottom of my foot. After a couple nervous moments, I realized it’s for callouses on the bottoms of my feet. Whew – once again, no pain. Done with first foot, back in tub, switch to next foot for the cheese grater treatment. Both feet then got some lotion that was massaged into my feet and legs. The lotion made my feet very slick and I was very careful not to step down from my chair and onto the tile floor without first putting my shoes back on.
Amy: It was a delightful experience; we giggled as he worked his way through a whole new level of awkward. I’m proud of him and there’s something to be said for a man with nice feet!
Brandon: I know I’m gonna pay for this, but the whole pedicure experience was pretty cool. My feet actually felt great for several days afterward. I may consider it again in the future. One thing though! This does not, I repeat, DOES NOT count as my wife being right and I don’t have to say those dreaded words every husband tries to avoid at all costs: “You were right.” Am I right? Maybe this will be my start to try and be more like my grandparents, two people I love very much and look to as examples of how to do it right and enjoy life and just try it at least once.
Keep the faith, fellas! You like the photo?
Brandon and Amy Chaffins of Alexandria have been married 11 years – long enough to have learned to live with each other’s “quirks.”